Francesca Extraordinaire

Predmet: Chat-shmat

Išla sam na icq-ev chat da vidim. Đizuz Krajst! Koji moroni! Mislim, kaj ti ljudi nisu normalni ili nisu normalni? Anyway, totalno sam bila u svom mudu, pa sam im servirala tanjur njihove vlastite gluposti sa svakom novom rečenicom. Zanimljivo je kak i englezići ne znaju pisat, a kamoli pravilnu gramatiku engleskog jezika.

Ovo su moji legendarni odgovori na njihove debilne konstatacije i ine gluposti – praise them!

Kad vam netko dosađuje, odgovori moraju biti slijedeći:

-How about putting that into proper syntax, form, and grammar so I can at least understand what the fuck youre saying before I dismiss it?

-You may be the only person to have won a Watermelon Eating Contest with your ass and, no doubt, impressed and regaled many a Burger King employee and bus stop stranger with the great event of your life, but it doesnt impress me and Im still going to lay you out like an airport runway and land a 747 of beating on you if you dont shut up, you loose shingle in Hurricane Me.

-Another epileptic seizure on the keyboard!

-Its either silence or Armageddon, chucklehead.

-For your next trick, why dont you try holding your breath for about six minutes?

-Youre talking like you have a death-wish. Well, you’re in luck, because I have a murder-wish.

-I’ve got to listen to your senseless uber-babble? Your verbiage is more inflated than your dad’s blow-up doll of Denis Rodman.

-Youre worth less than the contents of a slop bucket in an enema clinic. Brighten the lives of your long-suffering parents: sodomise yourself with an electric cattle prod, with the voltage set to "Kill", you beta-tester of neural software.

-It is my profound wish that you shall be dragged through the sty by a demented pig, you syphilitic spawn of Satan.

-Do the world a favor: play Russian Roulette with a full chamber.

-Take heed, you conglomerate of intellectual constipation, may you recognize your father in the grinded meat.

-I curse you, you grudge-festering blackguard, may you live to see your son marry another man.

-Shut up before I smash your pumpkin head with a sledgehammer of verbal abuse until you lose all grasp of language and are left with the words Please, Kill and Me as your only use of it.

I was pissed off:

-You peckerheaded, brother-raping, jock strap-sniffing, cum-sucking, hemorrhoid-chewing, shit-brained douche-bag!

-English is your second language, isnt it? You dont have a first. Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

-Why dont you shrink your head and use it as a paperweight? Its not much use for writing intelligent sentences with, thats for sure. You wouldnt know Up from Down if you had three guesses. Anyway, who was talking to you or even taking you under consideration? Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

-When I want your monkey-brained opinion Ill rattle your cage, okay?

-Why dont you put your glasses on backwards and walk into yourself?

-Do everyone misfortunate enough to know you a favor: give yourself a lobotomy with a hammer and chisel, you shameful waste of oxygen and water.

Nekom Star Trek freaku:

-I remain impressed by your God-given gift for unparalleled ineptitude. You really are an awesome success as a failure. You are the Starship Enterprise of stupidity: going where no idiot has ever gone before.

If you had even the faintest trace of honor and decency, you would immediately perform an act of ritual Hara-kiri by disembowelling yourself with a serrated Bowie knife while sitting in a pit of burning gasoline in attempted atonement for being such an asshole.

Nakon kaj mi je neki idiot poslao sliku:

-Thats a sexy outfit youre wearing. Who shot the couch?

Kaj da vam velim, totalno sam zakon! Engleski mi ide bolje od hrvatskog, damn!

Thanks to my good fellas, Tony, Terry (waiting for another Yorkshire pudding), Aaron, Charlie, Duncan (Croatias Dominion) and Carl from England; DJ Jones from Wales (cant wait to see you scratch on Valkana beach); Ryan from Ireland (Ol Laddie, where art thou) Alexander and Stefan from Sweden; Darrel from Down Under and NY copper Alan (cut down the bloody donuts)!